Little sacrifices

Along the road to recovery, there are inevitably sacrifices that will need to be made. I'm still early on my road, but I wanted to write my small list of things I'm doing so I can remember later, and also to get ideas from other people of what little sacrifices you are making.

Here's my list:

• Internet time - my wife and I have a rule that I do not 'surf' the internet if I am the only one home. This means I only look up things that have a clear purpose to that moment and nothing else. Unless I'm waiting for a specific email, I don't check my email. No facebook, no espn, no news. Just what's necessary.
• Internet content - kind of a no brainer - along with blocking all inherently inappropriate websites, I've had to block websites that can potentially be used for bad purposes (i.e. youtube). This would be really helpful for learning modules and other things for medical school, but it's something that's got to happen. My wife has the password.
• Media content - I monitor pretty closely the TV shows and movies I watch as well as the music I listen to. If it's not of good report then I do my best not to watch/listen to it. In fact, we don't even have cable TV, or a TV for that matter. :) 
• Phone - I have basically the same phone I had 7 years ago - a flip phone that can call and text. No internet access. It would be cool to have internet on my phone. It would be nice to have all the apps and things my colleagues are using for school, but that's not the best idea right now.
• Tuesday nights to attend a recovery meetings. I'd love to spend that time with my wife instead, but it's something that needs to happen. 

I feel silly calling the majority of those sacrifices, because most of them are things that hardly existed 15 years ago (Tuesday nights - when did those happen???). Isn't it interesting though how yesterday's luxuries become today's necessities? What did we all DO before the internet, cell phones, and television? Unfortunately these 'necessities' have made having an addiction increasingly easier to develop and hide - it's really scary to think where we'll be 15 years from now. What new things will my children have to worry about? How much more prevalent can it get?

The answers to those questions scare me - but at the same time, I feel I've got an advantage. I used to ask the question 'why me?' when I thought about this addiction. 'Why me' is never really the right question though - I'm in this because I made decisions that lead me to it. Sure, I believe that I had a predisposition to become addicted to this type of thing, but I sat and let it develop. I now realize the more appropriate question is 'what now?' I can't change what I have done, but I can change what I do with it. I can choose to rely on God and stay in recovery. I can use my time on the battlefield to become a tool in His hands to combat this ever-worsening war for the rest of my life. I can teach my children and help them not make the mistakes I made. I truly believe that weak things can be made strong in Christ.

I don't sacrifice as much as probably many others, and not near as much as my wife has as she has been dealing with her own journey of recovery in the many ways this has affected her.  I pray that I will always be willing to make the little sacrifices that God would have me make so I can continue to recover, be a better husband to my wife, son to my Father, and father to my kids (someday).