We had our 3 year anniversary the other day - and it was great. It's no secret we've had our difficulties and largely due to my decisions and weaknesses. We've often said if we lived close to family we're not sure if it would've worked out because it would've made it easier to throw in the towel.
This anniversary was our least elaborate - prior years were spent in an upscale hotel or a private cabin in the mountains. This one was spent as a night in our ghetto hotel we're staying in as part of the final 2 weeks of our recent 4 month cross-country excursion for residency applications.
Though less fancy, this anniversary was definitely our best because we are secure in our marriage. I have over 2.5 years of sobriety and we're trying for children and grateful for our present and looking forward to our future together. It wasn't long ago that none of these were the case. It almost seemed like divorce was inevitable and that we made a huge mistake. We've had some really really difficult days and long nights.
But here we are, happily married despite our weaknesses. Sure we still have tiffs frequently and things aren't hunky dory all the time. We are still very much a work in progress - we are still young and early in recovery and there is still much to do. But we are out of the worst of it, and we know we'll work it out together and be fine no matter the situation.
Anyway, I just wanted to say this because I read blogs and see so many people still in those early stages of confusion, depression, anger, and hopelessness. I just want to put our experience out there so people can know it's possible to work through it and that it's worth it. Not saying that every couple should work it out or that if you don't you've done it wrong. Not at all. Just that it's possible in case you're thinking it's not.
Best of luck to everyone. If you want to get in touch with my wife or I, we'd be happy to talk through things. We're no counselors and still have our many issues, but we can offer help based on experiences we've had.
Thanks for sharing the hope and the success, Nate! It's good to see that others can succeed in recovery.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the uplift. Wait...is uplift even a word? Anyways, I appreciate it. Was just wondering, what for you was the hardest part?
ReplyDeleteHardest part for me...? That's tough to say cause different things were really hard at different stages of recovery. Breaking the initial cycle, fine tuning recovery, being patient and supportive in my wife's recovery, maintaining hope at the most depressing times... all of these were huge challenges at different times. Sorry for the vague answer.
DeleteAnd I support your use of uplift as a noun.
Nate I would love to reach out to your wife…will you have her email me when she gets time awifeprogressing(at)gmail(dot).com. Best of luck on finding a fabulous residency!
ReplyDeletek I'll send you her email address - she should get in touch soon!
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ReplyDeletehave a Cupcake sweet day!
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