It mirrors my addiction exactly. Wandering to certain sites or looking up certain things that would qualify as a little ounce of whisky, thinking I'd be fine or be able to stop when I wanted, soon finding myself in a death spiral. I really don't like to write or think about it because of guilty feelings it brings back, apparently I'm not at peace with it all yet.
Anyway, I - and I'm sure each of us - have realized that we can NOT handle a little whisky in our milk (despite what the little voice of temptation would have us believe). Unfortunately we will always be in an environment where our addiction of choice is readily available, as it is by far the most accessible addiction there is... but it is important to do all I can to keep myself in as safe an environment as I can.
For example, I've not had access to youtube for years, just because of the potential for evil it has. At first it seemed like I would be missing out on so much by not having access, and there is the occasional moment where it would be convenient, such as for medical school uses to look up procedures or tutorials... but I've just learned to live without it and somehow life has been just fine.
For the last 2 years I've been able to eliminate the little whisky-in-the-milk justifications and slowly but surely my mind has been healing. I believe God has been integral in that process, particularly in enlightening my mind to be aware and recognize the insane tendencies.
So I guess that's about it. Let's make today a sane day.
Good for you to stick to this! I need to work on not adding whisky to my milk.
ReplyDeleteI tried to leave a comment this morning, and my computer erased it! Let me try again:
ReplyDeleteI'm really impressed that you -or anyone -could "quit" youtube. I'm pretty sure I use it everyday! BUT I will say that I was terrified to cut gluten from my diet (because I use it every day), but it hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. And I feel SO much better. My joints don't hurt nearly as bad.
Last week, I had some hot wings I didn't realize were breaded. After a few bites, I realized it, but I kept eating thinking I would be okay. NOT SO! I'm still trying to get back to where I was. The pain isn't worth it, even though in the moment the hot wings were pretty amazing.
I really believe in the power of this story -this post. And seriously impressed that you quit youtube.
I hate youtube. and love youtube.
As someone who loves milk (and has never had a drink of alcohol in my life), the image of mixing it and whiskey is quite disturbing. I like the point you make, though, and wonder what forms of insanity I have that seem so reasonable.
ReplyDeleteI agree about YouTube; there are some amazing educational videos, instructional how-to videos, and wholesome entertaining videos. But why do they have to allow the sleazy thumbnails everywhere? It's amazing how a video on something completely fine will be linked to something ridiculous: "If you liked 'How to Make Your Own Bird Feeder' you'll love 'Jazmin's Skanky Workout'!" I think you're probably right that it's better to just not deal with it.
R
Time to turn off the youtube and time to turn on the Godtube!
ReplyDeleteAmen about this addiction being always available. As long as my heart is pumping blood to my brain I can lust. Doesn't matter where I am.
You think it was your idea or God's that you go off YouTube?
-Matt
Thanks for the comments everyone! Interesting question by Matt - I consciously decided that I would block youtube because it was commonly my whisky... but since all good is inspired of God I'm sure I have received His enabling power in keeping my rule. But yeah, I hear you all. Youtube has some GREAT stuff on it, but its potential for evil is too great. And its blatant attempts to get people to click on the skeezy links on the side. The more hits they get, the more money rolls in. Just as with other sites (particularly news sites these days), disregard social morality - it's all about the Benjamins.
ReplyDelete