How I combat temptation

I just want to talk about a few ways that I've combated temptation over the years since I started recovery. Sometimes you've got to try new things or keep a step ahead of Satan, and I just kind of want to remember things that helped or things that didn't help.

Early on, the battle is exceptionally difficult. We all have our cycles of acting out. Mine was 2 weeks. For others it could be a month, 3 months, a year, 3 days, etc. Whatever your cycle is, that's what your physiology is trained to do, and it will fight your efforts. 

When I first started getting out of addiction, I had a calm for a couple weeks, and then a storm hit. It was a constant swirl of temptation that met me in the morning and stayed with me till I slept. I constantly battled, prayed, and struggled seemingly to no avail. On the 12th day of this onslaught, I woke up in peace. It passed. It was like Satan retreated and left me alone for some time, until the next opportunity arose. 

I made a good deal of mistakes since that experience, but getting out of the initial cycle was incredibly difficult. I wonder if the initial breakthrough is about 2x as long as the usual cycle for everyone... 

Anyway, that leads to my first key to overcoming temptation. Resilience. 

Assuming we are good on the initial surrender in step 1, we next must be resilient in our efforts. I have learned to never put timelines or provisions on my attempts to get out of temptation because I will most certainly take them. "If this person answers their phone..." or "If someone calls me" or if x, y, or z won't happen. I must be prepared to go the distance no matter what, and to turn to God 77 X 7 until I can wake up in peace. And that moment has and will come. Every time. Too often we put forward 90% of the effort but see none of the blessings. I usually like to find a place to pray out loud and do 3 things:

1) acknowledge the temptation we are feeling

2) ask God for a way out

3) commit to following God's path and relying on him - verbally, out loud, with confidence, without conditions. 

Often the answer comes is "go outside and walk around" or "close your computer and don't get on it again, you don't need to" or go somewhere or do something. 

Sometimes it's just a "hang in there - I am with you. Things will be ok." Either way, God has always provided an escape that if I took it allowed me to escape... escapes have become faster and easier over time. 

Like I said, I have had my share of mistakes since that time, and have learned a lot. Slips would seem to come out of nowhere, and the justifications and hiding of them were just as subtle... and it would be some time before I would realize exactly what I had done. I would act out in lighter ways that I previously had and decide they didn't count or that they were somehow excusable. That was Satan's next plan and it worked just like he drew it up... for a while.

So my next key of overcoming temptation is awareness. 

I like to ask myself questions in the moment of temptation. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What triggers have led me to this? How have I contributed to getting in this situation? What was the first step in the wrong direction? I am now fully aware of my danger zone (or yellow light behaviors, or whatever you want to call it). I know the feeling well, and the moment it comes, I must acknowledge it and address it. Ignoring it will not do. Ignorance cannot lead to powerful choices. 

Often I need to get out of the situation completely in order to be truly aware of what's going on. There's a reason that temptation is represented by mist of darkness in Lehi's dream - it blinds eyes and hearts. We need light to shine on us in order to make a good decisions. A change in surroundings often can do just that. Being around people we know is good. Often in these moments I am led to make rules and regulations for myself for the rest of the evening until I am out of the danger zone again. 

I think once I became aware of my feelings and the danger zone and my triggers, I became obsessed with them. They controlled my thoughts, my feelings, my life. I became obsessed with not having triggers, or dealing with every emotion correctly, obsessed with when and why I was being tempted, and whether certain things counted as lusting or if the glance was an instinct. I was truly tortured. 

Which brings me to my last key of combating temptation, composure. 

While I was not acting out at this time, I was not healthy, and my relationships were not healthy. I was being driven mad by my own conscience and by the things around me. What I needed was composure - the state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself.

I needed to do my ABCs. Accept deep inside that I am a person and will be tempted and drawn towards certain things - and that's ok. Breathe deep breaths to calm myself down. And focus on what I can choose to do. It's ok that there are attractive people around me. It's ok that I'm attracted to certain things. It doesn't have to mean anything or change the way I feel about anything. It is part of life and part of being a human.

Combating temptation is different for everyone and I have found that my strategies and needs have changed based on how far I am in to recovery. You've all probably tried these things and many others with varying degrees of success. The important thing is that each of us is active in our strategies and that we evaluate our efforts frequently. Best of luck to everyone and feel free to share ideas or anything else about the topic.