Togetherness Thingy

Just wanted to say thanks to all the women that attended the togetherness project thing up in SLC last Saturday. My wife came home and just had tons of positive things to say about it and I look forward to going over her notes and thoughts with her.

She said she met oodles of fabulous women that she can relate to and it meant so much to her - and that makes me happy. My wife finds so much comfort in knowing she's not the only one and that there are women out there just like her going through the same things that understand her. Kudos to whoever put it together.

At the same time I am fighting the urge to feel terrible about it all... the fact that my wife has to fly up to Utah and spend money to attend a conference to get over the ordeal that I put (/ am putting) her through makes me feel not awesome.

On a plus note about feeling terrible - my wife was having a really tough night last night (I think...) and it's because of things I've done/said in the past. Something I've been working on is being there for her at these times, because these situations usually turn into me feeling terrible and distancing myself because I feel bad for what I've done, but my wife doesn't need that, she needs reassurance and for me to be there for her. I've been really terrible about that in the past... growing up I was never been the one causing hurt and it's been hard to accept. But the last few times, including last night, I was able to fight past the feelings of withdrawing and running away and weather the tough feelings with wifey last night, and I'm proud of that. We've had such a rocky start to our marriage, but I think one by one we're fixing the little things that make relationships work which is really encouraging. And we're planning on finally moving forward together which is also really exciting - scary, but so exciting.