Thinking positive

Having a hard morning, so I think I just need to spend some time thinking positively. Sometimes it's really easy to get caught up in the "I wish I had..." and "I wish she would have..." that I despair and lose focus on the main thing - what I can do about it now. And when I despair I typically think more negatively and have things turn out worse.

There's certainly evidence that shows that thinking positively or negatively influences performance. One study had one group of golfers imagine their putt going in and their other group imagining their putt just barely missing. Another study did the same thing with table tennis players. Both showed that the ones that thought positively performed better.

My mission president told us a story once of a study of a college tennis team where they took the top 8 players and took video of their performance. For the top 4, they made videos of only their mistakes (however rare they hay have been) and had them watch them before playing each day. For the bottom 4, they made videos of their awesome shots (however rare they may have been) and had them watch the clips each day before they played. By the end of the trial, the bottom 4 and top 4 had switched places. I don't have the resource on this, so I'm not sure of the accuracy, but I have no issue believing the principle of it.

Anyway, so I'm going to think positively today. I'm going to imagine wifey and I communicating well, both communicating and understanding oneanother's needs. I'm going to imagine myself talking about important things with her when I think about them, instead of being afraid and keeping them in. I'm going to imagine us feeling happy and starting a family together, even if it's a little scary. I imagine having a great day at work today. I imagine coming home and focusing on and caring for my wife's needs as we discuss her day and mine. Speedbumps will still come. Those golfers still missed putts. The tennis players still missed shots. But the important thing is that they progressed while the others digressed, and didn't get caught up in rehearsing over and over again the negative moments of life.

And there's also a difference between thinking positively and thinking naively obviously. It doesn't matter how many times I imagine myself throwing a perfect 50 yard football pass or dunking a basketball - just not happening, so it is important to assess plausibility in our positive thinking. One good assessment is to ask "has is happened before?" and "how long ago?"

Other positive things for me recently. I went over to my neighbor's house and sprayed his weeds for him. Another day I talked to him in his driveway. I set up a dinner with the older couple in our ward that I mentioned in my friend post. I didn't shut down when Laura and I had an important conversation. I didn't get upset or bitter one time when I felt I could have. And overall, I'm feeling a little less stressed and anxious than I have in months past.

Here's to having a positive day and doing what I can to make it so. Even though I feel like crap.