Why won't God just take this away?

Earlier in the addiction, my prayers typically contained the same phrase each time. Sometimes it was filled with hope, sometimes anger and despair. The phrase was always something like, "Please take this addiction away from me." It is a prayer familiar to every addict, and perhaps every loved one affected by addiction. I want to write a post about this plea - and my two cents as to why it usually isn't answered, at least not in the way I was thinking it would.

Before continuing, I want to point out that there is some good and truth to this plea - I need to surrender this addiction to God. I also need Him to help me out of it - I can't do it on my own. But the issue in my plea was the timing. I wanted it gone immediately. I want it gone without a price. I want it gone without growth on my part. Getting out of addiction is a long and difficult journey. And, like any journey, the growth doesn't magically come upon reaching our destination, but as we struggle along the way, step by step, ever moving forward.

I am reminded of a time I hiked 7 miles uphill to the summit of a tall mountain. The view at the top was truly breath taking and life changing. I can still see it even though it's been years. There were a few times on the way up where I wanted to give up, but pressed forward anyway - and I certainly didn't enjoy the hiking part that much. But I learned important lessons along the way about patience, endurance, and commitment - and the price that I paid on the way up made achieving my goal of reaching the summit even more sweet and memorable.

Contrast that to flying up high in an airplane. All I had to do was swipe my bank card and I shortly would rise into the clouds, above the mountains, with an even better view than from the top of the mountain I worked so hard to climb. The view was pretty cool, but I soon got bored of it. I didn't gain anything from it. It really didn't mean anything to me personally - it was an interesting thing that I would soon forget.

Getting out of addiction's grasp is a journey. It is not easy. There have been many times I have wanted to quit. There have been many times when I felt I didn't have another step in me. Or that there was no point. Or that the top of the mountain isn't that great anyway. I've lost my patience and commitment and been sick of enduring. But I know that if I keep moving forward, then God will indeed help me reach that summit, and I will have become something because of it. It will become a spring board to future accomplishments instead of a bad memory swept under the rug.

My prayer now is still for God to take away my addiction, but I feel I ask it with alot more patience and understanding (or at least I try to), and a lot more "thy will be done" instead of "I want it gone NOW or I'll stop believing in you." I respect God's timing more now. I understand that God gives us trials so we can grow and learn humility, not so they can just be taken away. What would be the point? All that suffering for nothing. I hope I am becoming something. I feel I am growing - step by step.