Men. Can. Change.

I went to see the new movie, Les Miserables - it is one of my favorite plays/musicals of all time (a shame they had to put some raunchy stuff in it, otherwise I'd buy it and watch it often). Anyway, I was moved to tears multiple times while watching and considering the story of Jean ValJean. I'd like to share two parts in particular

Part 1: Hard circumstances drove ValJean to committing a single crime, stealing a loaf of bread. He was caught and served 19 years in prison. Upon leaving he finds refuge with a priest in a church for the night. He steals from the priest and is caught once again. Upon returning, the priest does not condemn him, but gives him more - telling him he has bought his soul for God and to use the silver to become an honest man. Afterwards, ValJean has these thoughts:

"What have I done?

Sweet Jesus, what have I done?

Become a thief in the night

Become a dog on the run

And have I fallen so far

And is the hour so late

That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,

The cries in the dark that nobody hears,

Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go

I missed it twenty long years ago

My life was a war that could never be won

They gave me a number and murdered Valjean

When they chained me and left me for dead

Just for stealing a mouthful of bread"

This part describes my earlier feelings of being an addict. I feel that it wasn't fair what happened to me or that I would be susceptible to something like this, and that perhaps I would never be able to change and that was just who I was and who I was always going to be. But he follows those lines with these:

"Yet why did I allow that man

To touch my soul and teach me love?

He treated me like any other

He gave me his trust

He called me brother

My life he claims for God above

Can such things be?

For I had come to hate this world

This world which had always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!

Turn your heart into stone!

This is all I have lived for!

This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back

Beneath the lash, upon the rack

Instead he offers me my freedom,

I feel my shame inside me like a knife

He told me that I have a soul,

How does he know?

What spirit came to move my life?

Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall

And the night is closing in

And I stare into the void

To the whirlpool of my sin

I'll escape now from the world

From the world of Jean Valjean

Jean Valjean is nothing now

Another story must begin!"

ValJean then begins his new story. He changes his life and becomes a new person with his newfound faith and commitment to God. He becomes the mayor of the city and eventually devotes his entire life to a child that is not even his.

Part 2:
Throughout ValJean's journey to change, the voice of justice and sorrow comes to him constantly in the form of Javert, the chief inspector. This is the dialogue when ValJean has the chance to take Javert's life and be free from the one man still hunting him:

Javert: Once a thief, forever a thief. What you want you always steal. You would trade your life for mine? Yes, Valjean, you want a deal. Shoot me now for all I care. If you let me go beware, you'll still answer to Javert!

Valjean: You are wrong, and always have been wrong. I'm a man, no worse than any man. You are free! And there are no conditions, no bargains or petitions; there's nothing that I blame you for. You've done your duty, nothing more. If I come out of this alive, you'll find me at number fifty-five Rue Plumet. No doubt our paths will cross again. Go.

Change is something I've (and I'm sure you have) been seeking for years now. I recall each Sunday writing in my journal about change - how much I desired it, and yet how elusive it seemed to me. I tried to years on my own to change and only seemed to fall further and further into addiction. Often during those times, a voice would come to me. A voice familiar to each of us, saying, "You cannot and will not change. Give up."

That voice is wrong, always has been wrong, and always will be wrong. Men can change. I have changed. I'm done being bitter and thinking I can't change. I have begun my new story based on my newfound faith and commitment to God. I'm doing better than ever - over 10 months without even starting to seek something out. That is a miracle. I know if I continue on this new road, I will stay in recovery and be led to Him. Each us of us can. 

And finally, a quote from Pres Monson in the most recent conference:

"We need to bear in mind that people can change. They can put behind them bad habits. They can repent from transgressions. They can bear the priesthood worthily. And they can serve the Lord diligently."