So my wife and I got iphones a month or so ago. We have been scared to get them because it's hard enough with figurative cigarettes everywhere, and now I'd have a pack of them in my pocket constantly. But we put good limits and controls on it, and it really hasn't been a temptation much at all to look up anything inappropriate. So that's good.
One other thing I've been afraid of is the iphone games. Stupid, I know. But for me, games are a type of addiction. I get so into them. I go to them for some of the same reasons I sought out pornography - to escape reality and everything that comes with it. Anyway, part of recovery for me was eliminating video games from my life. And it was hard at first, I'm sad to admit.
Anyway, my wife and I wanted to get a game on our iphones that we could play together for kicks, and we found... hay day! Some of you just smiled a bit and thought of your awesome farms, admit it. Anyway, I think it's funny that people advertise games as addicting because that game is so addicting! It utilizes the principles of rewards at variable intervals to train your brain to think of it at various times during the day. Amazing stuff.
I decided it was ok because my wife and I would be playing the game kind of together, even though we had different games. I thought I'd be ok because of that. I put limits on my time, 15 min 3x a day and that's it. But I began thinking about it frequently throughout the day. It occupied my mind. I began to start to make exceptions to my rule. I even found myself becoming more irritable... weird, I know. And after a few days, I just realized that my life would be better without it. I felt like I should probably delete it and stop, but I didn't want to - I still thought I could handle it.
After a day or so my wife and I were getting ready for bed, and I just thought - you know, you just have to delete it and move on - you know you're better off without it. So I opened my phone and deleted the game. My wife deleted hers as well.
This may sound dumb to a lot of you, but for others it will hit a nerve because you are like me. There isn't anything inherently wrong with video games... but I can't have those types of games in my life because of how they make me feel and the unhealthy outlet they give me. And I'm okay with that.
I'd been wondering if I should delete it from the 1st day I put it on my phone, but it didn't get stronger until I read Elder Scott's most recent conference talk. He talks about the anti-nephi-lehis and how they had buried their weapons of war and covenanted not to use them again. Elder Scott asks the question, if they repented and had been cleansed by the atonement, why not pick up their weapons and go to war instead of sending their young sons to battle? The answer was that they did not want to bring back old weaknesses that might be difficult to them and might give the devil a chance to exploit it. Similarly today I read Elder Cook's talk about 4 different types of bondage. Pornography and other addictions were type one, but games and social media (and sports :(...) were type 2 because they are not inherently evil but often take our time and attention away from more important things.
So, I've reburied my weapon of war. I can play multiplayer games on like a wii, but no single player level up games. That's the way it is, and I'm ok with it. I'm thankful to God and my wife for helping me have the strength to make the right decision.
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