1) The Mentor: we all need someone to fill the role of someone that we can go to for advice, trust for constructive criticism when we need it, and to give guidance from experience.
Aside from my wife (who is really brilliant and fills this role in many ways for me), I think there are 3 people that could possibly fill this role for me.
1) My Dad - we are similar in so many ways, he's been married for >30 years, been a doctor for just as long, and loves me a lot.
2) Bill from church - he's a WWII vet in his 90's with a chin you could light a match off of and a heart the size of Texas. We've been shooting a couple times and he'd be a great friend.
3) The doctor I'm working with - he's a 50 year old saint from India who could fill the role of guru in my life. He really cares for his friends and patients.But like I said - these guys aren't really intimate friends yet, just have to potential to be. How could they become that way? I could call my Dad more often and ask his advice more often. I could set up a time to go and just visit and talk with Bill at this house. I could think of appropriate questions to ask the doctor I'm working with in time. Aside from 1-on-1 time (which is necessary to develop intimacy with anyone), I think being willing to ask for advice on your troubles is important on this one.
2) The Handyman: someone who knows everything about everything - can fix bathroom floors, work on cars, cook a great steak etc.
No question this is my neighbor. He could build a house or a car without a book. He is one of more selfless people I know and has helped me a ton and I know he helps others a ton and doesn't ask anything in return. He's really open and loves talking. We could really be great friends but I haven't really made the effort to go and talk to him when he's in his garage, invite him to play raquetball or go bowling, aside from the handy projects we've done. I did leaf-blow his yard the other day and we've had some lunches together with our wives. But this is one where I could really have a great friend but haven't tapped into it.
3) The Bachelor: (or the wingman for single folk): someone to help you not forget your interests from pre-marriage days, who doesn't have a lot of attachments and at the drop of a hat could be someone to watch a football game with and just have some good man time with.
Noone I really know fits this role that well - before I was my buddy Jonny but he lives in a different state... there is a guy in my ward that is divorced and looking but is pretty busy with his work and kids from a previous marriage. But I guess he would be the one I would call to watch a game with or go golfing with, but this is a weaker one for me. I've got another guy I've known for a decade that is engaged now but almost fills that role because he invites me to do stuff every other month or so and those things are random (but often expensive...).
4) The Work Buddy: someone to get you through the work week who doesn't have to be your best friend, but who you can eat lunch with and have a good conversation with at work.
I switch clinics every month so this one is a little difficult too... but I have a med school buddy that I feel a bit closer to than the rest of them, but we aren't that close and it wouldn't be the easiest friendship to build on quickly. A good one to keep on the back burner though.
5) The Fitness Buff: someone who trains for marathons and triathalons and just loves being fit for the sake of being fit, who invites us to get off our butts and go running and get active.
Again, I don't really have a close friend that does this for me... or anyone that I see could really fill it at this time. My wife is the closest one who does this for me as she has gotten me to get out and run, play tennis, and even do a few rounds of being shred by Jillian Michaels. I play tennis with my doctor friend, frisbee with some other friends, and volleyball with another doctor friend. I do have a friend that is insanely fit because he's a cop, but he lives far from me and is really busy so we don't get together for athletic things. Maybe we could?
So anyway, those are the 5 friends and who I think could fill them. As far as my life goes, I think I need to develop the relationship with my neighbor more, as well as start asking spending time with and asking questions to the good mentors in my life. When I get those 2 down I'll work on the rest. And of course throughout developing good intimate friendships with those around me, I still need to keep the #1 priority developing intimacy and closeness with my wifey - because that's the one that really matters, and the one that I desire the most.
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