Yeah I'm still here.
A lot has happened since May or June or whenever I stopped writing, but at the same time not a whole lot has happened. My counselor suggested my wife and I start journaling, and I'll probably use this as part of my journal but will keep a separate one for other things. Just a way to get feelings thought through and out.
I'll write more later but as far as an update on me goes:
1) I'm still sober. Coming up on a honest to goodness year and a half here pretty soon. I've been honest, not sought out anything online or anywhere, and have sought to control my thoughts and not dwell on the impure. This is the big positive note of my current life among the many negatives.
2) The question became, what now? Obviously I'm not out of the woods with addiction, it's a life-long battle. But now that it's not a huge daily struggle to stay sober each day, what do I do? And why didn't my life all of a sudden magically get better when I stopped acting out? Why are my wife and I still struggling so much? Why was I still the same person in many ways? Anyway, I have a lot to work on and think through, and hopefully this can be a way of helping me remember and organize my thoughts and goals, and a way to assess my progress.
I'm off to work. Hi Ho.
To be honest, I'm very very interested in the answers to those questions in 2) as well. Please answer those in your next post! Nate, you are kind of the hero for us addicts. The idea of becoming 18 months sober completely blows my mind right now. You are a champ!
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