Big changes a'comin'

So it's been a little while - you can tell how busy my rotations are based on how often I write in this blog.. but honestly my last rotation wasn't that busy, I just have been busy with other things. I'm at that point in a med student's life where I'm at the 20-pronged fork in the road after the first 20-pronged fork in the road. So I've decided on a track in medicine and have a back up cause my first one is a bit of a stretch.

So there are some HUGE changes coming: moving earlier than we thought, a future move to a completely new place somewhere in the US, my wife leaving her profession for a temporary job, being apart for 4-5 months while I'm on rotations, and that's just off the top of my head.

With big changes come opportunities: in many ways it is a new fresh start. My wife and I have had some hard times down here because of me, and some great ones. It has been our humble and difficult beginning. In our months in Utah and years wherever I match into residency, we will have the opportunity to start new good habits, continue current good ones, make new memories - there is also the potential for old habits to sneak in. I have a good 'safe zone' worked out down here - a good system - and a change of scenery brings with it new ways to get caught off guard and the necessity of being able to adapt more than usual.

I think the keys to surviving changes are 1) continuing good habits that have worked before and 2) evaluating early and often how the efforts are going, being aware of potential threats and weak points in the armor. I am pretty aware of my weaknesses and destructive beliefs/habits, so I will be on guard.

We're sad to leave this place behind... I think when I look back to Phoenix later in my life, it will be with reverence.

Other updates:

1) I had an interesting situation last week where justifying acting out would have been... well... almost justifiable. I won't do the details, but I was proud of myself for not even getting close to those old habits. Those victories go a long way and give me faith because not long ago I don't think I would have been so strong.

2) Mile-a-day 2014 - still going strong. I kind of missed one day, but am sure I walked a mile that day to and from places we were so I'm going to count it. up to 116 miles ran this year. Also haven't missed flossing a day yet, which was my 2013 goal. Setting and keeping these goals has been a great strength to me and my integrity. I think it's important for everyone to have 1-2 things that are non-negotiables that they do no matter what. We've all got numerous things that theoretically we should do daily, but miss here and there and life goes on. But I think picking 1-2 of those and doing them no matter what over the long term brings great strength to a person. Making other decisions seems a tad easier.

Shanks for the help

Just want to write about a victory I had on Monday. Kind of reminded me of the youtube thing I mentioend in my last entry. During my previous rotation, I listened to a book on cd and managed to finish it quickly during the month because of all the driving I was doing. The book was "Unbroken," a story of survival about a WWII airman stranded in the Pacific ocean. I really loved it. It was entertaining and inspired me to come closer to God and be a better person.

I started a new rotation on Monday and had a new book by my favorite sports author, Rick Reilly. I just think he's hilariously brilliant. I've read 2 books of his that are compilations of his Sports Illustrated articles and greatly entertained and touched deeply by the inside messages his articles have occasionally.

I expected a similar theme with this book of his that I was going to listen to in the car this month, a golf book called "Shanks for Nothing." Unfortunately it was not! It wasn't a collection of his prior essays, but an actual fictional story written by him and he took the opportunity to push lines that he can't push in his articles with language and innuendos.

Anyway, after a few less-than-inspiring moments in the book, I managed to turn it off and just handed the book-on-cd back into the library today. I was grateful to God for the strength to do that, because He knows how much I love a good laugh and I know that book would have been hilarious and I really wanted to just listen anyway and think that the bad parts wouldn't affect me and that maybe it is just the beginning that is bad and the rest is fine and... well... those were the justifications I battled.

I struggled on knowing when to stop, because I'm not the kind of guy that'll shut something off at the first sign of bad language or bit of innuendo... and maybe I should, but I feel that's extreme. But I got to a point where I knew it was time to turn it off. Like inside I could feel it. So I was able to push the eject button and not listen anymore.

That was a little-big victory for me. And I'll take it. I'm realizing more and more how important the little-big victories of integrity are, particularly when no one else is around.